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<title>35/25, or more widely known as “How Not to Perform Your Job Effectively” by HelmetParty (orphan_account)</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24196123">35/25, or more widely known as “How Not to Perform Your Job Effectively”</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/HelmetParty'>HelmetParty (orphan_account)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>College, Explicit Sexual Content, M/M, Slice of Life, Slow Burn, Teacher-Student Relationship</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 01:21:08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>565</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24196123</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/HelmetParty</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A 25 year old weed dealer and conspiracy theorist goes back to school. A 35 year old anxiety ridden nicotine addict returns to teaching after a failed homesteading attempt.</p><p>What could possibly go wrong?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Original Male Character/Original Male Character</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

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<a name="section0001"><h2>35/25, or more widely known as “How Not to Perform Your Job Effectively”</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I had severely underestimated the amount of work necessary to be a one-man homestead. I really did. Honestly, my intense and burning hatred for literally everyone did me no credit, considering it wasn’t at all true, I just have internal anger issues. I hate people, or so I most ardently tell myself. I also hate our Government. Mostly because political science is too complicated for me. I much prefer my degree in history. We don’t talk about the fact I double majored. </p><p><br/>But that’s why I left my high school teaching job to build my own homestead. I bought ten acres of land. I built my own home (from a house building kit on Amazon) and began my trek to sustainable living. I started a blog, of which you now read - one that will, for the next few months, be the only place other than my pillow that I will be screaming. Because needless to say, I failed. I failed bad. <br/><br/>First off, as someone who never swears and was hit when I did so as a child, I ask your forgiveness for what I will say next - I fucking HATE bugs. I hate them. By night number one I was bitten to heck and back. I still feel bumpy from mosquito bites. Two - and this one hits home - I have absolutely no green thumb. You know how ivy is apparently hard to kill? Easy for me. And you know how strawberries are hard to grow? The rest is history. </p><p>Its two in the morning. I spent the last week moving into a little crappy apartment, trying to fit all of my obnoxious and unread solarpunk tutorial books onto my shelves along with my hundreds of packs of unused seeds. I spent even longer looking for a new teaching job. High school salary wasn’t going to cut it anymore considering I now had to pay for both this apartment and the land that now sat unused (still finding a renter for it). Luckily, there’s a university about... thirty minutes away that, because of a professors’ death, was looking for a Latin American professor. And I just so happened to have studied in both Cuba, Brazil and Mexico during my time in doctorate studies that I finished only 5 years ago. I honestly thought I wouldn’t be able to work at a university this soon! I’m happy about it, but mostly happy about the salary. With the land I won’t have much extra, but I don’t care. It’s still a six figure salary and I love Latin American history. Plus, what college is conservative? Maybe the kids’ll actually give a shit about it. <br/>And the faculty was psyched about my pink hair, too. They want to be diverse and all that.</p><p>Im thinking maybe this whole - and forgive my language again - “fucked up and spent my life savings on a homestead that didn’t work out” thing won’t be the end of me. And with a renter, maybe it could even be beneficial. </p><p>Anyway - my first University job starts tomorrow. Today, really. I’m excited! I have everything prepared, including wiggle room as I learn what will work best with my students. I hope I end up being one of the “cool” professors. Anime! Communism! Video games! Music! Right?</p><p>Only bad deal is no smoking on campus. Will I get terminated if I hotbox my car with nicotine? </p>
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